Mantra Monday: I Don’t Wanna… But I’m Gonna Anyway.

Today Motivation Failed, but Discipline Won Out

In the spirit of “These goddamn posts don’t have to be 2,000 words each!” I’m gonna try to keep this one to about 500 words or so. I already wrote about 2,000 words for Space Porn today—which is a site that pays me to write stories about space stuff for them. If you haven’t checked it out yet, I highly suggest it. After all, I am the “Senior Editor,” which, at the moment just means I write two articles a day for them. Okay. Already rambling. Time to get back on track.

I got up with every intention of doing things right today. My alarm went off at 8:30 (which, when you’re a night-owl and a professional—albeit poor—writer with no set schedule, is fairly early). I got up and made the conscious choice not to go back to bed. Instead I set about writing as soon as I was awake and ready to go, which was around 9:45.

I already had a commitment to keep for my dad, who asked me to help him get to and from his doctor’s appointment today, but I had a great idea for an opinion piece on Space Porn. Usually, I can knock out the SP articles in a couple of hours—three or four tops. Today’s first article took me about two and a half hours to complete. I started it at my house, and finished it in the doctor’s office waiting room. Then I finished another short article right after that and scheduled it to post.

Trying to Decompress

By the time I got done with helping dad out, it was about four o’clock. I needed to decompress, so I blew up some tanks for a while on the XBox. While I was doing this, I knew I had to go to the gym. I seriously considered skipping it today, which would have meant—according to the rules I’ve set for myself—that I would have to go tomorrow no matter what.

I have to invoke that rule every couple of weeks or so due to unforeseen scheduling circumstances. But for the most part, I try to keep to my MWF gym schedule, and this month I’m working on doing something active on all of my “days off.” Whether it be bike riding, hiking, taking Jake for a walk, or just doing a yoga session, I want to make sure that “rest” days aren’t just lazy days.

“Rest” days are meant to give the muscles you broke during weightlifting time to recover. This allows them to heal and grow stronger. On the other hand, there’s nothing that says if I worked my chest and back really hard this week, I can’t ride my bike on my off days to help burn off more calories. That’s the idea with what I’m working on right now.

I Digress…

Anyway, I ultimately decided I would go to the gym tonight. It was a good workout. I’m really glad I went, as I always am. I ran 2.5 miles at a respectable 5.7 mph (10:40-something per mile). The first mile hurt my knees a little, but they were over it after they warmed up a bit. Again, there’s a really great runner’s saying that I love repeating: “Never believe the first mile.” That first mile will tell you that you’ve got no business running the rest of the distance. It’s a filthy liar from the pit of hell. You get through that first mile, and the rest of the run suddenly becomes more manageable.

The long and short of it is this. I didn’t want to go to the gym tonight at 6:30 pm. I had a rough time with my dad today, and I worked a lot more on articles than I normally do. I just wanted to blow up tanks. Instead, I told myself that I was going around 9:00 no matter what.

I did go, and I feel like a million bucks. I also kept up with my commitment to meditate for a few minutes. There’s a lot of stuff going on for me personally right now. I have a lot of big decisions to make soon, and the time is short. I’m also going to Georgia in a few days, so there’s been a lot of stress. Keeping my commitment helped me feel like I have some control over my life. It really feels great to keep your commitments to yourself. See you tomorrow!

PS. I wrote this last night, but fell asleep before I went back and hit post. I didn’t realize it until just now, when I’m about to post Tuesday Tune-Up. I apologize for any inconvenience.